Many people would argue that the arts should be incorporated into the everyday learning process of STEM ( science, technology, engineering, and math). One person who strongly believes this is cellist and songwriter Yo-Yo Ma. He believes that STEM should be adding the arts into the mix and become STEAM. He states “STEAM will help us get there by resolving the education problem. Kids will then go to school because it is a passion and a privilege, not a requirement.” Although this may be true for some students, it is most definitely not true for all. I believe art should be kept separate from the science and math categories, because art has its own things to offer. I think putting the two together takes away, as well as limits what they would be able to offer if they were taught separately. For this reason, I believe that the STEM system should remain in the learning curriculum.
Sarah,
Remember to try to incorporate your paragraph’s main idea in your claim sentence–the first sentence in your paragraph. Right now, I started the paragraph believing that you were going to argue that STEM should be STEAM. Meanwhile, your paragraph’s main argument is the exact opposite of this. You do a good job pushing against the quote, however. What if you more directly addressed the quote’s logic? For example, you could argue that some students would maybe DREAD going to school, if they weren’t creatively inclined.